Free Will horoscopes are up! Weekly Free Will horror-scopes are up! Based on Rob Brezsny's readings, here are my synopses of all the signs' modi operandi this week... I'll give myself one minute and one line per sign:
Aries —find a problem. get into trouble. wriggle your way out. eat your greens.
Taurus —be weird. enjoy it. find someone to tie you up — repeatedly.
Gemini — drink Absinthe with wheatgrass chasers. enjoy the head show.
Cancer —take mushrooms. forget how to talk. stare at grass. it's divine.
Leo —be powerful — enjoy picking the lint out of your bellybutton.
Virgo —swing out my electric sister. step on someone. just breakout.
Libra —you will have wet dreams involving heros in tights. feed them candy.
Scorpio —everything is a lie. now go prove me wrong.
Sagittarius —unleash yourself. tie a taurus up. move to china. teach ESL.
Capricorn —your stool will contain valuable riches. look before you flush.
Aquarius —become one with the turtle. eat rabbit not crow.
Pisces —cook your byatch a good meal you lazy fucker. cry into the sauce.
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