God I love Canadians. And I get such a kick out of being one. Why? Because we make the weirdest news. I spotted on this snappy headline on Drudge: "Former Canadian Minister Of Defence Says UFOs are Real; Warns Of 'Intergalactic War'..."
What a great article. Really. I dig this Former Canadian Minister's style, even though I suspect that he had one too many Laser Floyd nights at his local planetarium. But perhaps this crack politician is onto something. Maybe we Canadians should take a cue from this man and work on fostering our political Star Trekkie-ness. We coined the term "Global Village", and now it's outdated. We house William Gibson, and revere him as a genious. Let's introduce the term "Intergalactic Village" and make it our mission save friendly aliens from America's intergalactic foreign policy! Com'on. It'll be fun. Who's with me?
Let's hit American where it hurts: Roswell. They won't even see it coming. That's right America: we don't like how you intend to treat aliens, and this time we're not going to passively sit here and let you shove your brand of foreign policy up our ass. We'd rather alien probes do that.
I mean really, what if aliens are nice people, and you blow them up first - before we ask them if they have a cure for AIDS? Or worse, before we find out they are, like, totally hot with funky sex organs? We've watched Star Trek: we know that ALIENS ARE HOT. This time we are going to fight for our right to enjoy everything alien: new cuisine, hot sex organs, neat-but-totally-useless tech gadgets.
We crack me up - what other country is cool enough to constantly ignore the childish antics and prater of our big brother, and then get pissed off over THE HUMBLE TURBOT AND ALIENS? That right: us. You can push us Canadians pretty far America, and we just kinda watch and quietly make fun of you. But if you take on our fish or aliens, well, then you will feel the full extent of our wrath and ire. We fight for food... and alien sex. Watch us take you down with our "shock and awe" tactics.
Vote yes to aliens. No to intergallatic war. It's your duty as a Canadian.
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1 comment:
I totally support your good notion! I'm proud to be American in some ways (you know, the timeless virtues & values that our forefathers had in mind that are now long gone) but I don't feel at home or connected to the ideals and dogma that has gripped our nation. I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that I am way too open-minded, creative & liberal. I feel that people like me are either on the verge of extinction in the U.S. or all live in Canada (okay, maybe some in on the coasts & Minnesot)Maybe I'll move to Canada.
PS - I dig your sense of humor & you have a good way with words
Steve Nash for Prime Minister
Catalyst
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