To my Injection-molded Hair and Underpants Ken:
I got you when I was too young to know the potential play you held for me. Let me say that when I think of you now, it is with humour and horror. My only regret is not going to the Prom with you. You came with that hot tux that matched my favorite dress and everything.
To my Country and Western Ken:
How I loved to hear you sing. If only you would have kept singing...and kept your mouth shut at all other times. You would have never missed a note. And if only I'd gotten you while you still had the damn cowboy boots.
To my Rock n Roll Ken:
I tired of you so quickly when I realized you were just like all my other Ken dolls, except you came with a guitar and a tattoo.
To my Math Is Hard Ken:
You made me do my homework. I was the perfect Barbie for you. But then I realized Jem always had more fun than Barbie. Sorry. One day your Babs will come.
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