Lunar

In my desperation over breaking up, looking for some sense of symbolism to which to attribute meaning, I decided to celebrate Chinese new year. January 29^th. It was, in my mind the date on which he was to depart. This of course was not what was in his mind, but I swore to live by the lunar calendar nonetheless, proclaiming to all and proclivity that I, yes I, would be heretofore on the lunar calendar and that I may in fact sometimes be late for my appointments, due to the lunarness and all. On Monday, that there Monday not felt, I pulled up a wee java lunar calendar and drank in the phases of the moon. Aha! Full moon on Saturday going out absolute mayhem I can’t wait why don’t I email random friend from high school whom I’ve googled to see if she’s alive in between panting breaths of work work work? Turns out she is alive and in Toronto for but 3 days getting some sort of medcan ( dedicated to keeping busy people healthy!) physical thing because she’s just become a vp in an advertising agency. Medcan I reply. Hmmm. Too bad I can’t do that. It’s against my principles to be poked and prodded and samples taken as though I’m an alien (I’ve always felt strongly that executives should travel in popemobile type vehicles and generally live in some sort of protective bubble room reaching though the plastic and clearing their steamy breath to shake hands with the ‘folks’ when introducing change). That and some lifestyle choices of course….. All of this terribly material stuff aside, as I’m telling her all of this 4 martinis in to our first meeting (must put on show!) in 10 fucking years, she leans over and goes what, you’re on the lunar calendar too? I just started following it this year. What – everyone is on the lunar calendar? That’s funny I thought, I emailed her right after fucking with my lunar phases. And she’s about the lunarness. And she’s here. And I’m here. Hear. Sic. Mmm. I’ll have the white chocolate one thanks. Well, I reply, I do have magical powers but this may be more about synchronicity what with you being on the lunar calendar too and all. At which point I launch in to a lengthy slurring monologue on synchronicity, archetypes, and kinetic energy. Will I ever learn to hold my tongue? i see that slight turn of the mouth, which is understanding just about to be feigned, trying to grasp some common thread, from which they can swing as they interject yes, yes, and nod furiously to pump themselves to and fro.

Sooner or later I end up in this place, never known with whom or why what, but they always get that look, and then I hear the sucking sound of the cosmos as the window gets cracked a little too wide open (again!) if only for just a moment, to get some air. but the sound and the fury make me slam it quickly shut with a turn of conversation, a shake of the head, and a wry smile: how is your sister anyways?