Received as an email chain letter... Please raise your big toe and repeat after me:
As a member of the female gender, I (repeat your name) pledge to follow the following Sandal Rules:
1. I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. The sides of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
2. I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
3. I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
4. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
5. I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes.
6. If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape or glue it back into place.
7. I will not live in corn denial, rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholls if my feet need him.
8. I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at PayLess for the low, low price of $4.99. This is out of concern for my safety and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat.
9. I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
10. I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals.
GBS NOTE: a lot of this information applies to boy byatches too. Check out the image of Madonna. Yes, you never know when your little piggies may get sucked, so keep 'em buffed and trimmed.
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