Fire Hydrant Ball

Recipe:
1 Diva with a flaire for strategical business plays and fine wine.
1 Break Dancing Young-un with the hottest stomach in the west.
1 Grown-up Goth Girl with an eye for the irreverant.
1 Bottle of tequila
1 Fire hydrant
1 Set of decks

Mixology:
Heat up a low-beam basement with some Progressive House. Set 3 Ghetto Byatches on the dance floor. Make sure to douse the Byatches with shots every 20 minutes, and keep the music just saccharine enough to drive them to repeatedly holler: "Dirtier, dirtier". Leave hand-pump fire hydrant off to side of dance floor. Now, grab two parts Byatches and set them to task on the fire hydrant - one mans the pump, the other the hose (dirtier)... now wait for it... wait for it.. wait for the DJ to move away from the decks... then hollar "dirtier" and spray the dance floor with a steady stream of water. (This levels the dance floor mix and rids all the participants of pretention.)