I AM THE BEST FRIEND EVER! I GIVE INCREDIBLY PRACTICAL ADVICE ON LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.
BEHOLD!
MY LATEST AND GREATEST NUGGET OF ADVICE:
Dear "Heartless",
There are these neat belts...they have a metal pad that goes in between your legs, and a lock in front of your pussy. If you want to remain faithful to _________, I would recommend you buy one, lock yourself into it, and give him the key. I know they sound a little old fashioned, but they do the trick.
I say, why bother working through those pesky emotional ties, when there's a simple material solution? Free yourself from feelings. "Down with emotional ties, up with material bonds."
You bestest singlest friend,
Violet
(p.s. The ghetto fable is a'comin' and I foresee an iron maiden and a glass princess in the story. Hmmm. Maybe they should have a cat fight.)
2 comments:
i'm not sure i see how that will help the wearer's situation...
Irony my friend, irony. And trust me, it'll help this wearer - she's a banshee.
And chastity belts are hot: actually, having a boy slowly remove you chastity (belt) is hot.
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