Petit Mort on Halloween

Dear Heartless,

You didn't listen to me, did you? I give you great advice and you don't take it! You could've have easily locked the key in a block of ice. I know you: you have a hairdryer. You could have escaped your own chaste prison. (Trust me, a boy licking the steel edges of your belt would have vaporized that ice block in seconds - yum.) But I guess you're more glass princess than iron maiden, now aren't you?

May I recommend belladonna "soothe" your next issue?

Dilated pupils, I've heard, are considered attractive on women. Something about our, ahem, "souls" being wide open. I wonder what that's all about? I just read an article that suggested men prefer women who are quiet. Open? Closed? Which way to go, my heartless f(r)iend?

As you know, I come from a long line of witches and hags, and I recommend belladonna to kill - I mean quell - what ails you. Trust me, we've been using it for years to look good, feel funky fresh, and drop dead weight.

So what if your vision's a little blurry and your heart rate increases? You're used to that. Administer it as a tea or offer it up raw: you can produce vivid hallucinations, described by many as a 'living dream'.

Isn't that what you really want, my dear belladonna? A living dream? Something you awaken into? Isn't that worth the threat of a petit morte?